Your biggest fear
by wilsonstories
Summary: I am so honoured that my stories about Will and Sonny are still read! So here is another story set in the time when Will and Sonny where happily living with Gabi and Ari, however the latest events are also part of the story. Let me know what you think!
**This is how I would like to see the whole Will and Sonny story as it went from bad to worse. This is set in the time where Will and Sonny live happily with Ari and Gabi in their little apartment. Italic text is a dream.**

 **Sonny's POV**

The light seems too bright, and the room seems to warm. I try to open my eyes but for some reason I can only open them halfway. Something is beeping near my ear and I wish I had the energy to find out what it is. Soft voices are a bit further away and I cannot hear what they are saying. My arm feels cold, and yet the rest of me is sweaty and warm. My mouth feels dry and I try to cough. Suddenly I feel a strong hand on mine and his sweet soft voice:

"Sonny?"

I want to say many things, but nothing seems to come out. My eyes seem to open a bit further though and slowly he comes into focus.

"Hi baby, just stay where you are, I will call for a nurse."

I now see a drip going into my arm, and I feel the saturation monitor on my finger. Then a nurse walks in and she sits me up and gives me a sip of water. They all seem relieved, but I am not sure why:

"Glad to see you doing a bit better, Sonny."

My face must tell them my confusion, and the nurse calmly fills me in as she pushes some buttons and the machines next to my bed:

"You have a chest infection, and because you thought it was only a cold it developed into sepsis. We have treated you with antibiotics and some fluids, and you seem to be on your back. A few more days of antibiotics and then you should be as good as new."

She smiles at me and then she smiles at Will before leaving us alone again. I frown at my blond boyfriend, somehow it seems weird he is here with me. I feel my heart beating in my chest, whereas just a moment ago I thought my heart was ripped out and would forever have to miss the person I love more than anything. I don't understand my own feelings, and I try to focus on Will who sits down on my bed. I feel the matrass go down and my hip leans comfortable against his. He reaches out and grabs my hand, while at the same time he leans in to kiss my forehead. With his lips against my skin he mumbles:

"Go back to sleep, I'll be here."

I don't fight it and almost immediately I doze off again. His hand on mine feels reassuring and comfortable. His thumb softly strokes my skin as if to say I am safe and he will make sure to keep it like this. Although I feel feverish and poorly, his presence makes me feel better regardless.

 _What am I doing here? A soft breeze and nice weather, and yet everyone is sad and wearing black. I am sitting somewhere in the middle of the crowd, staring at this big picture of Will. People make speeches, Will's father and his grandmother, talking about how great he was. How great he WAS, as if that is all in the past, as if he is in the past. I hardly hear what they say and suddenly I am standing in front of everybody else. Why am I standing here? I cannot even remember how I got here. But somehow I seem to know what to say and I realise I also talk about him as if he is no longer with us. I want to walk away, I want to wake up but I don't know how. I don't want to be here. My chest hurts, my heart has been ripped out and is lying somewhere in that coffin. I want to scream and tell everyone that something is horribly wrong. I feel as though I am out of tears and yet they keep running down my cheeks. I need him to brush them away in the way only he can do it. I can almost feel his hands on my cheeks and his thumbs softly brushing against my skin. This perfect feeling doesn't last long as now I am suddenly alone, everyone has left. It is just me and some flowers around a stone which has his name engraved. I cannot remember being this sad before. The hole in chest seems to get even bigger as I kneel down, clasping the stone as if it is a part of him. It is not though… He is warm and this stone could not be any colder. I can't stop crying, tears falling down onto the flowers blooming so beautifully. I don't like it. I want to rip them out. My world is dark and black and cold, and these flowers just don't seem to fit into it. I curl up in myself, not sure what to do next…_

I wake up with a silent scream. My throat is too dry to produce sound and I am too tired to sit up, but I feel sweat on my forehead. Eventually I just whisper:

"Will…"

Suddenly I feel a heaviness on my arm and when I look down I see his blond hair resting against me. He is sleeping and my heart, which was pounding in my chest seems to calm down instantly. He must have felt me move as he opens his eyes and is immediately focused on me. When he seems me awake he smiles happily. I whisper his name again, trying to make sense of it all in my head:

"Will, you are here…"

"Of course I am."

"No, I mean…"

"It's OK baby, just rest."

"No… Will."

He doesn't let me speak as he lays his fingers against my dry lips:

"Shh."

I ask for water and he helps me to have a sip. I feel much calmer now than when I just woke up and somehow his presence here feels like a miracle. After he puts the cup back on the table he softly kisses my cheek:

"You'll feel better soon."

I nod and try to smile. Then I whisper again:

"You're here."

This time he frowns:

"Of course, where else would I be…"

"This is real… I am not dreaming now, am I?"

"No baby, you're awake now."

I nod again and can't help but well up a bit. He leans closer:

"Hey honey, it is OK."

"I thought… I dreamt…"

I am trying to tell him, but slowly I remember more and more of my feverish dreams and somehow they just squeeze my throat, making it impossible for me to speak. I just look in those perfect eyes, bigger and bluer than ever. His smile as bright as a summer's day. He lifts up his hand and I feel how he slowly moves it through my hair in a way that is perfectly familiar to both of us.

"What did you dream Sonny?"

I don't respond immediately, my brain is still busy to put all the things I dreamt together. I close my eyes as I start telling him what I do remember:

"You and I were fighting… or something… and then it all went wrong…"

"What went wrong?"

"You… someone… it just went wrong."

His hand has now moved to my cheek. I suddenly remember the part where I dreamt of him touching my cheeks to dry the tears I cried because he left. I almost shiver as his hands cups my face and I hear the smile in his voice:

"Whatever it was, we are not fighting and I am fine."

I reach up and grab his wrist and sigh:

"Yeah."

"And before you start wondering… Ari is with Gabi and they are both doing fine."

Immediately I remember the part where I held Ari close as if she was the only . I squeeze his wrist tighter and he seems to realise my recent dreams are having more effect on me than I can explain. He stands up from my bed and makes sure the drip is positioned right. Then he gestures for me to move to the side of the bed. It takes a while but I get there, and then I feel his body lie down next to me. His arms curl around me as he pulls my head on his chest. I lean down and almost immediately feel his strong heartbeat. I lay my ear straight on top of his heart and enjoy the feeling of his fingers stroking my hair again. He holds me tight as he says:

"Just relax honey."

I do as he says and focus on the soft beating of his heart, steady and certain. As I close my eyes I suddenly see images flashing across my eyes. Images of blown up pictures, engraved stones and yellow flower beds. Images of black clothes and crying people. I quickly open my eyes and he must have felt my sudden panic as I hear him say:

"You OK?"

I try to relax again, but am afraid to close my eyes and drift off to sleep, back into this scary dream world where everything is just a nightmare. Softly I ask:

"Sing to me."

His hand teasingly pulls my hair:

"You know I don't like to sing just like that."

"I'm sick though…"

"Hmmm, that is not fair…"

"Please…?"

He laughs softly and I know I have won. I feel him take a deep breath, my head comfortably moves along as his chest expands. He sings softly, shy at first but more and more comfortable with each line. I dare to close my eyes again and this time the scary images are gone. The only image I see is my sweet boyfriend singing me to sleep in a hospital bed which is only just wide enough to hold two grown men. As I drift off to sleep I hear him sing:

"Cause all of me loves all of you, love your curves and all your edges, all your perfect imperfections."

(…)

"All sorted, you are good to go."

I thank the nurse for all they have done for me and then follow my boyfriend to his car. He drives us home and as he turns the key to open the door he says:

"Ari and Gabi are at Rafe's, so you can rest for a few days."

I am grateful for the gesture but somehow miss their voices in the apartment. As Will suggests to make me a bed on the couch I shake my head:

"They discharged me because I am better, I'll be fine."

"Yes, and you also said you had a cold when you really had a chest infection…"

His blue eyes twinkle and we smile happily. I shrug:

"I am just very tough…"

"Or stupid…"

"Hey now, no need to insult me."

"You scared me though…"

I look up and see how he chews his bottom lip and refuses to make eye contact.

"Will?"

He shrugs in response and takes a deep breath:

"You're OK, so no worries."

"I'm sorry I scared you honey, I honestly thought it was just a cold."

I have walked over to him and lean in against his body as he is making us a cup of tea. My arms curve around his chest and my head leans against his back.

"So nice to be home again."

"It is nice to have you home again."

"Will?"

"Hmmm…"

"Don't leave me…"

"Not planning on it babe…"

"I mean it."

He turns around in my arms and pulls me close as he looks into my eyes:

"Where is this coming from?"

"My dreams I guess…"

"They must have been horrible if you are still worried about them?"

I look away and shrug:

"Yeah, well… the doctor said it was just because of the fever."

"Sonny, look at me."

I take my time but finally stare into his baby blues.

"Tell me what went wrong in the dream?"

Before I realise it I say it:

"You were killed…"

"What?"

He raises his eyebrows into two perfect curves as his blue eyes seem to get even bigger than normal.

"I know it is weird, but you were killed and we had separated or something before that… and I came back for your funeral… it was all horrible."

I shiver as I talk about it, somehow the dream still feels so real. He pulls me even closer with his right arm while his left hand curves around my neck:

"I am right here baby, and as far as I know we are very much together… happily together… with no plans of separating… and I don't think I have enemies who would want to kill me."

I cannot help but smile. He is right. He is the nicest, kindest and sweetest person I have ever met. He has never hurt anyone and I have never met anyone who doesn't like him. He pulls my head towards him and as he leans in our lips meet in a tender slow kiss. I feel as though I cannot breath, but it is a perfect breathlessness, the one that seemingly can last forever within a problem. His tongue is soft and warm against mine and I lean heavily into his body. When we let go I just mumble softly in his ear:

"I love you so much…"

(…)

After he made sure all the lights are out he stretches out next to me. We quickly make ourselves comfortable and I sign happily as he curls himself around me, making me the little spoon tonight. His lips are close to my ear and I feel goose bumps when he softly kisses me.

"Sonny?"

"Yeah…"

"Some people say dreams tell you your biggest fear…"

I am not sure what to say. It is comfortably quiet for a while and then he continues softly:

"Is that your biggest fear?"

I nod. I don't know what else to say. I feel vulnerable as I realise this must tell him how much I love him and how much I need him in my life. His lips kiss me again and I can feel his breath on my skin. It is perfect. It is all I need. He quietly clears his throat and then he tells me:

"When they called me that you were in hospital I couldn't think clearly. Mum drove me to the hospital and Gabi took over from me to look after Ari. And then I saw you lying there, hot and sweaty from a fever."

He stops for a moment and we both try to pull the other closer. Our fingers entangle and his leg drapes over mine.

"Just so you know… it is my biggest fear too."

I now smile happily, no longer feeling vulnerable but instead feeling so happy I could burst. I lean down and kiss the back of his hand. I think back of our earlier conversation when he never really responded seriously to me. I decide to try again:

"Just promise me…"

"What?"

"That you won't leave me…"

I can feel our heartbeats finding their rhythm, and this time he whispers against my skin the most perfect answer I could ask for:

"Never."

But without a pause he continues:

"Promise me something…"

I smile:

"What?"

"Don't leave me…"

"Remember the first time we made love?"

"Yeah, of course."

"I want to do that for the rest of my life..."

I feel him smile against my skin:

"In that case, promise me something else?"

"Anything…"

"We will always have a bowl of crisps and a bottle of water afterwards."

We both laugh out loud. He turns me onto my back so he can look at me. He leans in for a kiss and then he says with a perfect sweet smile:

"Perfect… perfect is the word."

 **Thanks for reading, do leave a comment and tell me what you thought of it!**


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